Welcome to our ongoing “First Steps” series, where we highlight remarkable transformations of individuals who have changed their bodies, minds, and lives. We focus on the initial steps they took to embark on these journeys, emphasizing that every significant change begins with just one step. Explore all the inspiring stories here.
In this installment, rapper, songwriter, and author Russ, 32, shares the pivotal first steps he took to improve his mental health, which ultimately inspired the creation of his best-selling album, Santiago, and his second book, It Was You All Along.
MY JOURNEY INTO therapy began with couples therapy. When you enter a relationship, all your insecurities, triggers, and past traumas often resurface. If you’re with someone long enough, they can reflect aspects of yourself that you might not want to confront. I noticed I would become condescending and emotionally defensive far too easily.
Initially, I thought, “Couples therapy? That’s for couples in crisis after twenty years of marriage.” I believed that if we needed therapy, we shouldn’t be together at all. However, I didn’t want to lose my relationship. So, in 2021, I decided to give it a shot. This opened the door for me to embrace therapy—engaging in conversations with someone, reflecting on myself, being honest about my feelings, and having the humility to accept my flaws. Surprisingly, love became my gateway into therapy and personal growth.
However, couples therapy primarily addresses the relationship dynamics and doesn’t dive deeply into personal history. When I began working with my therapist in 2022, I started to peel back layers and explore the deeper issues at play. It was a completely different experience.
That same year, I experienced the loss of my childhood dog, who had been with me through my high school years and every home my family lived in in Georgia. Her passing hit me harder than I expected. My nervous system was thrown into chaos. Therapy helped me understand this profound grief. In my twenties, I achieved considerable success—everything unfolded so quickly—and I became the caretaker for my entire family. There was no transition back to being just the son and brother; I had to step up as the head of the family without processing my feelings. Losing my dog felt like a final farewell to my childhood, and I struggled to cope with that loss alone.
Recognizing that I needed professional support, I reached out to Dr. Nicole LePera, whose insights were invaluable. She connected me with a therapist specializing in working with successful men, which was crucial for me. I had concerns about whether a therapist would understand the pressures of fame. Finding someone who truly gets it has been incredibly beneficial.
First Up: Cultivating Awareness, Humility, Hope, and Empathy
MY FIRST STEP toward improving my mental health was learning to pause before reacting. This practice allowed me to observe my own emotional responses. By taking just a moment for self-reflection, I could engage in more constructive conversations with others and articulate my needs more clearly. It may seem simple, but this small shift has made a world of difference.
Therapy had an immediate impact on my life by fostering humility and hope. I quickly realized that I didn’t have all the answers, and that was perfectly okay. I had previously prided myself on having life figured out, even writing a book about it. The truth is, no one has everything figured out—every session opened my eyes further, and I felt increasingly aware of my emotions.
The lasting effect has been an increase in my empathy. I had always struggled to be compassionate towards myself, which made it challenging to extend that understanding to others. I often felt that no one cared about my struggles. Having someone who genuinely cares about my experiences and learning to care for myself has transformed me. I can now empathize with others when they’re not at their best; I no longer rush to judgment because I understand that everyone faces their own battles.
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Therapy and Masculinity
MY BROTHER FRANK is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist, serving as both my trainer and chef. His influence was significant for me. Being around someone so dedicated to health made it tangible for me. At the start of 2022, feeling frustrated with myself, I committed to a routine: tracking my food intake, drinking a gallon of water daily, cutting out alcohol, and working out with Frank every day. I lost 30 pounds in six months, reaching the best physical shape of my life, yet emotionally and spiritually, I still felt a void.
That’s when I realized the idea that “going to the gym will cure your depression” is utterly false.
You can’t lift weights to erase childhood traumas or painful memories. For many men, seeking therapy can feel like a challenge to their masculinity. I once thought that needing therapy equated to weakness. However, my therapy journey reshaped my understanding of what it means to be a man.
My therapist pointed out that society often measures men by their ability to handle challenges independently. It can be tough to confront this belief in therapy, yet doing so reveals deeper insights into oneself and fosters personal growth.
Men frequently feel isolated, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We need more supportive communities and mentors to guide us. I’m now committed to creating a network of men who can uplift each other and engage in meaningful discussions.
My experiences in therapy have also inspired my upcoming book and album, “It Was You All Along,” which explores themes of self-regulation and setting healthy boundaries. While music allows me to express my thoughts, therapy is where the real healing occurs. The therapeutic exercises I’ve engaged in have facilitated tremendous growth.
I’m still navigating my path of self-discovery and personal development. Learning to trust the unknown and embracing new facets of myself is an ongoing challenge. It’s perfectly fine to not have all the answers, and by continuously working on myself, I’m evolving into a better version of myself. My forthcoming album revolves around stepping into uncertainty with humility, optimism, and faith. I know there will be ups and downs, but I’m learning not to dwell on the negatives; it’s all part of the journey, and I truly believe that everything will fall into place in the end.
