Welcome to “Curl Chronicles,” a space dedicated to exploring the multifaceted world of Black hair – celebrating the highs, lows, and everything in between. This month, writer Shani Hillian takes us on her personal journey of self-discovery through the experience of caring for her daughter’s beautiful hair.
I can still vividly recall the first time I had my hair pressed at the age of 10 during the ’90s. As I sat in the salon chair, I braced myself for the heat of the Marcel iron, watching in awe as my 3C curls transformed into glossy, straight strands. The pungent aroma of burnt hair filled the air, but the desire to emulate my idols, like Aaliyah and Monica, was simply irresistible. Once the final touches were done, I couldn’t help but revel in the feeling of my sleek hair as I ran my fingers through it. This moment marked the start of my infatuation with straightening my curls, planting the seed that my natural hair was somehow less worthy.
Transitioning to a mostly white high school in Voorhees, New Jersey, only deepened my negative feelings about my natural hair. Surrounded by peers and public figures who preferred straight styles, I felt an overwhelming urge to conform to societal beauty standards. The absence of curly hair representation in media further solidified the notion that my natural curls were unappealing. I found myself either straightening my hair regularly or opting for protective styles, all while shying away from fully embracing my authentic texture. Unbeknownst to me, this internalized stigma was shaping my perception of self-worth.
At home, my mother, a diligent working woman, often favored braids and protective styles for their manageability. While I’m confident she saw my curls as beautiful, the lack of guidance on how to nurture my natural hair led me to believe it needed to be subdued or concealed. Without the necessary education and affirmation, I struggled to recognize the inherent beauty in my natural curls.
It wasn’t until I began caring for my daughter’s hair that I embarked on a transformative journey of healing and self-acceptance. As I learned to nurture her coils and kinks, I discovered the power of embracing our natural textures. In caring for her hair, I found a renewed appreciation for my own. This act of nurturing became a vital form of self-care and a crucial step toward reclaiming my identity.
In delving into the complexities of Black hair, I’ve come to understand that our hair is far more than a mere physical characteristic – it embodies our history, culture, and resilience. Embracing our natural hair is a profound act of self-love and empowerment, honoring our roots and heritage. As we navigate the myriad joys and challenges of Black hair, let’s remember that our curls are a crown that deserves to be worn with pride.
